Chapter 1- Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you recently?
Recently, my brother has been watching a show on Netflix called All American. In March, our family all watched it together. I was entertaining the first time we watched it. But now, my brother has watched it four times, this is his fifth. Normally, I would be fine with it, after all, it isn't affecting me. But, recently I have been letting it get to me. Even though this bothers me, I take a deep breath, leave the room, and do something else. Being upset about something that I can't control is pointless. So who cares if he watches something for the fifth time? I don't from now on.
Chapter 2- Make Peace with Imperfection
How does your 'ego' distract you? i.e. judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, comparison, hatred, anger, and more...
Last year, I was struggling internally with being good enough. Constantly, I would look at other people and compare myself to them. I was always worried that my grades weren't good enough, that I wasn't skinny enough, or that I just wasn't good enough to continue to be comfortable. I started to hate the way that I looked, felt, and acted. I wanted to stop putting effort into my life, lose focus, and give up. I have recently started to understand that I don't need to compare myself to other people to feel successful. Other people's success, does not determine mine. Now, I can see that if I take a deep breath, step back, and appreciate what I have done, I can achieve more. If I don't do well at something the first time I do it, I can now take time to practice and improve instead of giving up and declaring I would never be good enough like I used to. In the end, I have let comparisons, jealousy, and judgement cloud my vision, but not anymore.
Chapter 3- Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't Be Superachievers
Thoughts: "When you have what you want, (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires and concerns, it's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
I think that this phrase is something that many people don't think about very often. Sometimes, I get so distracted by small things, like technology, my grades, and what other people think, that I forget what inner peace really is. To achieve inner peace, we have to take a deep breath and decide what is really important. When thinking about my life, I often have to think, "Will this affect my life in 30 years?" If the answer is yes, then I can worry about it. But most of the time, the answer is no, and I relax a little bit more. Being calm and at peace with my decisions is one of the best things I can do for my mental health and my concentration.
Chapter 4- Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking
Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
When my mind and thinking is out of control, I definitely know how I feel. I feel like everything that I do have in control, is slipping away. I might look okay, but inside, it is as if war is waging among my thoughts. Sometimes, my mind is moving so fast, it is hard to think straight at all. Whenever this happens, I try to occupy my time doing something different, like reading, writing it all out, or going on a walk or run. I never enjoy this feeling. But unfortunately, I come to this state too often. One thought leads to another. Suddenly, I'm stuck in a hole that is impossible to climb out of.
Chapter 5- Develop Your Compassion
Can you recall a time when you made something "big" and dramatic when in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
A few months ago, my neighbor and I got into an argument about something. At the time, it was all I could think about. I was so upset at her for being mad at me, that I almost forgot why I was frustrated at her. In those moments, the times where I was mad, I was making a small thing something that could mess up our relationship for a long time. One night, my mom sat me down and said to me, "Jenna, do you really want to end your relationship with her over this?" Of course, the answer was no, but I had been making it seem like that was all I wanted to do since the disagreement happened. It was at that moment that I realized I should swallow my pride, get my shoes on, and walk down the street and apologize for the sake of our friendship. Now, looking back, I wasn't that mad, because I can't remember what even happened. I only remember the feelings that I had. This is a great example of how people can turn "small" things into "big" deals. I have learned to think about why I am upset, and ask myself if getting riled up is really worth it in the long run.
Chapter 6- Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your "In Basket" Won't Be Empty
What does your 'in basket' look like? And will it be there tomorrow...
My to-do list is long. I don't know the deadlines, but I always have something that I should be doing in my head. I tell myself, I should go running more, and I should be eating a lot healthier, I should be doing my work way ahead of time. These things to do have been in my head for months now. I have done all of them too. But, I can't let go of the thought that I'm not doing enough. My mind is always telling me that I'm not good enough. But, my "In- Basket" is always full of things to do. I have no doubt that I will be worrying about the same things tomorrow that I am today. In fact, there will probably more on the list than there was the day before. I have no reason to do this to myself, but it always ends up happening. My "In- Basket" will always be in the back of my mind. Tomorrow, I will have the same concerns, problems, and worries that just don't go away.
Chapter 7- Don't Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences
Do you believe you are a strong listener, or could you use some work?
I think that I am a good listener when I need to be. Personally, like hearing stories, and consulting my friends and family. I also appreciate when my friends and family listen to me. I think that if I continue to be a person who listens to other, people will see me as a person they can trust and confide in. Sometimes, I am frusturated and am not the best listener. But, I always go back to the person and apologize. I try to understand their situation so that I can be trusted again.
Chapter 8- Do Something Nice for Someone Else- and Don't Tell Anyone About It
Recall a time you have given, did you expect acknowledgement?
About two weeks ago, I volunteered to babysit for a family friend our my family's. They used to babysit my brother and me when we were very little. I offered to have her two kids, ages 2 and 6 months over for dinner, and to play for a few hours. I wanted to babysit them to spend time with the kids, but to also let the parents have a night to themselves. Two parents that work long hours and still are amazing parents, need a break sometimes. I never expected anything in return. I had spent so much time with their family, I thought I had just been doing them a favor. But, as I was strapping their daughter into her car seat, her mom tried to pay me. I declined, saying that I had done this as a way to spend time with the kids, and didn't want to take anything from their family. I think that just doing kind acts of service is payment enough. The satisfaction that I got from just seeing people that I love put enough happiness into my heart that I didn't even want anything in return.
Chapter 9- Let Others Have the Glory
Have you experienced someone else "stomping" on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
My "glory" has been stomped on before. It didn't feel very great. Whenever it happens, it feels as if something has stomped on my pride, making it feel like whatever I did isn't significant. This happened to me when I scored a goal in soccer (which didn't happen very often) and my brother proudly announced that he had scored five (which happened all the time). It wasn't that I wasn't happy for him because, of course I was. But I was hoping that I could've had that moment to myself to celebrate, instead of feeling less successful than my brother. I avoid doing this to people. Since I know how this feels, I know I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way. Sometimes biting our tongues to make other people more confident and secure is the best thing we can do for everybody in the situation.
Chapter 10- Learn to Live in the Present Moment
What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
Ever since I turned 14, I have tried to live more in the present moment. I have worked to stay in the present moment by making more fun decisions, listening to what is going on, and trying to make memories with the people that I love. When I listen to my friends and the people around me, I can tell if they want to do something. Sometimes, I could say "What?! That's crazy!" to an idea or, I could say, "Ok! That sounds crazy! I'm in!" No matter how small the decision it, I think that the mindset we have can determine the overall outcome.
Chapter 11- Imagine that Everyone Is Enlightened Except You
Look at a time when you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught... what did you learn?
A while ago, I got frustrated about a grade that I got on a test. I take my grades seriously, so for me to get such a low grade, I really took it to heart. I was angry at myself for not doing well and I was frustrated with the overall situation. I remember getting so mad at myself for making silly mistakes that I could have prevented. Now, when I look back at that, I can see that I should have just stepped back and looked at how I could improve the next time. Instead of spending all of my energy complaining about my grade, I could have been learning and figuring out how to fix my mistakes. In the future, if this happens again, I will try to stay calm. I will go back for help if I really didn't understand the material. But, if I made silly mistakes, I can make note of them and focus on how I can prevent making these same mistakes in the future.
Chapter 12- Let Others Be "Right" Most of the Time
Challenge: the next time you are in a discussion/argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires.
On Sunday, I went to spend time with a friend outside. I love spending time with her. We usually talk about school, friends, sports, and other, more specific topics. We were talking about something, and I didn't agree with it entirely. Instead of immediately disagreeing and contradicting her, I nodded, and continued with the conversation. I noticed that I wasn't really that upset about it and I didn't need to cause myself the stress of having to be right. Listening to the people I care about is more important than having to always prove my point. If the problem had been much larger and she said something that was insane, I would've stood up for what was right. However, It wasn't, and I felt much better knowing I wasn't responsible for an argument that really was not necessary.
Chapter 13- Become More Patient
Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize that you are so very small in this vast world and really your 'drama' isn't that big a deal?
Moments when I think about how small I really am come often. I fall into a state of thought when I imagine how big the universe/ multiverses really are, I think about time, and I think about what could exist outside of our small Earth bubble. When I think, I forget about my issues that I have. Thinking about this helps me realize that everything is not really important. Imagine this, our Earth, zoomed out to see the milky way, zoomed out to see a universe, zoomed out to see millions of universes, zoomed out to see a black hole, absorbing the universes. The black hole is in a marble. The marble is a small one, in a bag of tons of marbles. A giant creature that is more powerful than imaginable grabs a marble of universes and tosses it to another creature. They continue this game of catch forever, always switching marbles. I know this story is not likely true, and cannot be proven by science, but nobody will ever know. It is when I think of things like this that my problems wash away. I like trying to understand what is outside of my bubble. I will never find out what is really in the vast beyond, but I also shouldn't waste my time trying being swirled up in small problems that won't matter to anybody in the long run.
Chapter 14- Create "Patience Practice Periods"
Do you have a "Mantra", a statement, that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
I personally don't have a "mantra" that I repeat often to keep myself motivated. But, I do keep certain things in mind. Throughout the week, I remind myself to make the best version of myself. I keep this in mind so that I remember that apart of my future relies on the things I do now. Habits are formed early, if I form good habits now, I will be more likely to make better choices in my future. Finally, I think about what I think success is for a small amount of time. For example, in the morning, I tell myself, "If I can finish three assignments today and still read for an hour, I will have had a successful day." I set measurable goals often to make sure I stay focused, and on track throughout my life.
Chapter 15- Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach out
Have you lost a relationship because something "small" created a "big" divide?
I have unfortunately lost a friends due to something small that caused a big divide. My situation was a little bit different though. With my friend, we had been "forgiving" each other for small things so much that they became big things. Every time we said that something was "ok", we grew farther apart. These situations when we didn't truly forgive each other just made our relationship less honest. Our biggest and final fight was over something small, but it was really just all of the bottled up anger coming out at once. When we finally had a big "blow up", everything that ever happened came up and both of us really let out everything that we had done. From this experience, I learned that if a relationship is really important, everyone needs to be honest, and open with how we feel. We need to truly forgive each other, or explain why it can be hard to forgive. These lessons have been hard to learn, but very necessary to keep relationships thriving.
Chapter 16- Ask Yourself the Question, Will This Matter a Year From Now?"
What do you hope to do a year from now?
A year from now, I hope I am more comfortable in my own skin. I hope that I am happy, healthy, and successful in school. A year from now, I hope that I will have moved on from people and problems in my life that are holding me back. I hope that I am wiser and that I can make better, more responsible decisions. A year from now, I hope that I still have friends and that I am still involved in leadership. Problems will still arise, and my goals won't just magically come true, but I hope that as I grow up, I can be more aware of what I really want, and what I have to do to help that come true. Right now, I have to focus my energy that will help me achieve my goals that I have for a year from now. For example, if I want to feel more comfortable with myself in a year, I should start journaling and reflecting on myself so that I can grow into a better person. Also, If I want to be involved in leadership next year, I should probably figure out how I want to be involved, and figure out a way to plan my steps to making that dream come true. My goals that I have set for myself can always change, so I will learn to adapt and make the best possible outcome of my situation. Nobody can know what will happen in a year from now, but I will try my best to make sure that I am always doing what is right and what is best for me and the people I love.
Chapter 17- Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't fair
Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
Life isn't fair. I also don't think that life was meant to be fair. Life is different for every one, and if life was fair, nobody would ever feel anything. I think that life isn't fair because everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. If life were fair, there would be no reason for people to work or use their strengths. Because life isn't fair, people have been able to work together to get monumental things done. For example, many people have had to work together to create the periodic table. Many scientists have worked together and saw different things to make what we all know as the periodic table today. This example is not the best, but it proves that if life were fair, we may not even know what makes up our world. Back to the question at hand, life not being fair is such an opportunity for people to stand out. Life not being fair doesn't have to be a bad thing. Life not being fair can be an opportunity for people to help others, make positive change, and introduce new ideas for people to expand off of. At the end of the day, life not being fair can be something to celebrate and help make life more fair (in some ways).
Chapter 18- Allow Yourself to Be Bored
Do you take the time to be bored?
I always have to be doing something. Whether I'm on the phone, with people, or doing some sort of task, I never just stop. I hate being bored, so I try my hardest 24/7 to be doing something. I never take the time to be with myself and think. Unfortunately, most of the time, I feel like I am not doing enough, and the thought of being unsuccessful terrifies me. I think a lot about the future that I want, and every time I happen to be bored, I think about what I am losing. I tell myself that I'm not doing enough, and that defines my character. In reality, being bored is so important for our brains, especially with the technology and amount of stimulus we have today. Being bored can be the only time someone actually has to themselves, and we fill every spot of it to avoid our problems. One of my favorite thoughts is, "Am I really happy, or am I just distracted?" Boredom can be a time that we're allowed to think for ourselves, and let go of all the other things we have to do. At the end of the day, I hate being bored, but after reading this chapter, I will make more time for it, and I will chose to be the person I want to be, not who I am when I'm busy.
Chapter 19- Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
Stress has always been something that people tell me to avoid. However, the way the world works is completely backwards. Starting in elementary school, stress is put onto students to do well, look nice, and have friends. Middle school is the same way. Once students get to high school, stress is almost unavoidable. Social status, while stupid, is so relevant at school. In addition, students have 7-9 classes typically. 7 different classes to do homework for, be on time for, and do well in. Then, students still have to grow up. Kids have to learn to drive, take care of themselves, maintain relationships, and become a functioning adult. From there, it just gets worse too. Stress is everywhere, yet, people still say to avoid it. I have always been taught to stay stress free when it is literally impossible to do. Stress is something that we've been accustomed to when it should hardly be a part of our lives. Humans weren't supposed to work from 9-5 and spend the rest of the time sleeping and stressing. Humans were meant to live and adventure. Stress is taking over out world, and people are letting it dictate their lives. I don't know how humans can overcome stress, but I know it is something humans are taught to handle, but it should not be as relevant as it is now.
Chapter 20- Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter
When is the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I wrote a letter to someone with gratitude was about two weeks ago. Every holiday, one of my family's " family friends" send us a card with a short update on her life. Two weeks ago, we received another card from her. In response, I wrote her a thank you note with a short update on my life. In this note, I let her know how nice it was to still hear from her even though we haven't seen her in years. I really appreciate her writing to us even though we haven't seen each other in a very long time. In my letter back to her, I included the current schooling situation, an update on cross country, and some of my goals for the summer. I hoped that she is doing well and staying safe and healthy. Reaching out and getting/giving a written letter is so nice and such a fun thing that brightens peoples days. In addition to being a kind gesture, writing a letter can be great for people's emotional and mental health."
Chapter 21- Imagine Yourself at Your Own Funeral
If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be?
If I could change anything about my life right now, I would change the fact that I have a short temper. Sometimes, when I am stressed, or out of patients, I tend to snap and yell at people I really care about. I don't want to be remembered as someone who was angry or frustrated all the time with people I love. This only happens rarely, that I get angry and snap, but when it does I feel horrible and wish I could undo what had just happened. Without getting so angry, jealous, and upset about small things, I could improve relationships with people and probably form new connections with people without having as much hesitation or worry. I can work on this by taking more time to breathe or comprehend a situation before immediately reacting. I hope it isn't too late, or that many people I love haven't branded me as someone they can't talk to, because it isn't who I want to be remembered as.
Chapter 22- Repeat to Yourself, "Life Isn't an Emergency"
Describe a time or moment in your life when you turned something into an emergency.
I can recall a few times I have made small things turn into emergencies. One example is when I was running late to go somewhere with my dad. My dad had said he wanted to leave around 9, and I was getting ready until the time came to leave. At 8:55, I was running behind and I still needed to change my clothes. I thought that my dad wanted to be exactly on time, so I started rushing to get ready and I began to make the situation an emergency. I started to feel panicked and became overwhelmed by a deadline that was not even remotely important. Me panicking and rushing around had turned the situation way more emotional and serious than the actual errand we had to run was.
Chapter 23- Experiment with Your Back Burner
Analyze: "It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes more intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for."
Back Burners are always on. No matter if we want them on or not they are more than likely working, thinking about some issue or problem. I think, that most of the problems on our back burners aren't something that we want to face, or can't face at the time we think of them. When we allow ourselves time to think and simmer on things in our back burners, it could give us a clearer perspective. When assignments get assigned, or life just happens, it can be hard to picture what is going on with a clear mind. Once it settles on our back burner and we don't have emotion clouding our judgment, we can see more clearly what we really think, and what is truly important. I think that our back burner is an asset, that, if used correctly can reduce the heat of events, and help us go into things with a clearer mind and idea of what we need to do when we actually need to do it. Having a back burner is much more important than having everything at the front of our minds all the time.
Also, if we are fearful of what could happen, or fearful of a situation that we need to address, the back burner can be something we can use to put it off until we feel comfortable to dress the situation at hand. I know that I personally will be afraid of something happening because of a conversation or situation, and try to forget about it until it seriously needs to be addressed. Fear, unfortunately, controls a certain part of my life that I can't exactly pinpoint. Sometimes I will be fearless, but others it seems that I am so scared I can hardly function. Oftentimes, I will put the debilitating event I am scared of on my back burner until I'm ready to handle it head-on.
Also, if we are fearful of what could happen, or fearful of a situation that we need to address, the back burner can be something we can use to put it off until we feel comfortable to dress the situation at hand. I know that I personally will be afraid of something happening because of a conversation or situation, and try to forget about it until it seriously needs to be addressed. Fear, unfortunately, controls a certain part of my life that I can't exactly pinpoint. Sometimes I will be fearless, but others it seems that I am so scared I can hardly function. Oftentimes, I will put the debilitating event I am scared of on my back burner until I'm ready to handle it head-on.
Chapter 24- Spend a Moment Every DayThinking of Someone to Thank
Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why? I challenge you to communicate this gratitude with this person.
One person who comes right to my head to thank would be my friend Joselin Figueroa. Joselin has recently become one of my best friends, and I can't imagine not having her as a friend anymore. She and I bonded at our cross country practices and meets as teammates, but towards the middle and end of the season, Joselin and I developed a genuine friendship. I would thank her for being an amazing friend, including me in many different situations, and trusting me as if I had known her my whole life. I would also thank her for being such a hard working person for herself, and for others. She takes care of people when they need to, and she is incredibly responsible, hence her name, "the mom", of the cross country team. Joselin has quickly become one of, if not, my best friend, and I am so grateful that I am able to say that.
Chapter 25- Smile at Strangers, Look Into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact & connect, what are your initial thoughts?
When I first read this chapter, I recognized that I talk to strangers, and make eye contact with them more often I thought I did. Thinking back to when I go on a walk, run, in public, or with my family, I often say hi, and wave or make eye contact with people. When I am alone, I find myself saying hello to people I don't know because I feel outgoing, and I know these strangers won't likely ever see me again, so I should make a good impression when I can. I always try to make people's day better by saying hello, or making small talk with people. For example, one of the examples that I thought of quickly was last week in the DMV. I know many people, including myself, don't want to be in the DMV for any reason. But, I was waiting for my number to be called, and so was a woman standing next to me. Without really thinking, I turned to her and I asked why she was in there. The conversation lasted a few minutes and it lightened the mood for both of us, it made the situation less tense, and less awkward because her and I were sitting together for a long time. I often find that I say hello, or make small talk with people, and it results in my mood being brought up as well. I benefit from saying hi, and hopefully, so do other people.
Chapter 26- Set aside Quiet Time, Every Day
When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't... explain?
Every day, or most days, I try to have a quiet moment to myself in one form or another. Usually, I don't just sit and be. I am almost always doing "something" in essence. However, recently, I have gone running at 5:30 AM with my dad. It is still dark, and I appreciate the serenity of the darkness and stillness of the quiet. My dad and I don't talk, and we're not running fast enough to really be too tired. I find inner peace and serenity while on these runs, and I am able to reflect, and think calmly throughout the miles. I would count these runs as my "quiet time". Throughout the day, being a student, it can be hard to ever have any moments truly alone other than when doing homework or taking a shower in reality. Being in school is demanding, in every aspect of the day, students have to be interacting with other people. I like communicating and interacting with everyone at school a lot, but I also have come to appreciate the silence of running in the morning or doing my homework alone in the afternoons.
Chapter 27- Imagine the People in Your Life as Tiny Infants & as 100 Year Old Adults
Describe a time when you have been frustrated with someone, but you "let-go" of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
It is virtually impossible to be mad, or upset with an infant or elderly person. While reading this chapter, I was faced with the reality that most of my "problems" I have with other people don't matter because everyone makes mistakes, and everyone will mature, and grow eventually, or they will be 100 years old about to die. When I think back to someone I have had conflict with in the past, I think back to one of my former best friends. I won't mention him by name for his privacy, but we were incredibly close. I truly loved our friendship and how casual, yet trusting it was. Over some time, he asked me something that I didn't agree with. I was taken aback by the fact he would even consider that of me, and I was genuinely offended. After that initial conflict, it was never really the same, we had to build back a bridge that we once had with wood that was faulted. After some time, I felt him growing distant, which really upset me, and every time I talked to him about it, he became defensive and denied whatever I was asking about. I gave up, I talked to him one day and told him that our friendship wasn't worth it to me anymore, and I wasn't interested in being friends anymore. Since then, I haven't spoken to him at all, and I appreciate the peace I have made with the situation. It was difficult, but I have come to terms with the fact that we are different people, with different priorities, and sometimes people aren't meant to be friends or be in each other's lives for a long time. This realization has helped me significantly become happier about the situation, and now I can't be mad at him, or what happened anymore.
Chapter 28- Seek First to Understand
Describe a situation where you didn't seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict?
A long time ago, my friend was going through some personal issues and she told me about them. I was always going to support her, but in this case, I didn't try very hard to seek first. Instead of listening as I should have, I found the smallest thing I could get upset over and began to shut her out. I closed myself off because I disagreed with one small thing that had happened. Instead of judging her immediately, I should have listened and supported her decision the best I could. In return, I had to rebuild the trust I once had with her and I had to apologize for not being the friend she needed at that point in time. Over time, she forgave me, and we returned to our trusting relationship. But it was very tense for a moment, it created uncomfortable energy between us.
Chapter 29- Become a Better Listener
Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you. Describe this relationship.
Someone I know I can genuinely talk to is my best friend Ethan Pieretti. Ethan has been my best friend since kindergarten and I wouldn't trade our friendship for the world. If there is ever anything going on in my life, Ethan knows about it 100%. He is an amazing listener, and even if he doesn't agree with my decisions, he supports my choices. Ethan and I have the type of relationship like siblings have, we can know what one another is thinking without talking and we can go sometimes even days without face-to-face talking, but still understand one another deeply. Ethan is always there to listen when I need advice or just someone to rant to. I enjoy listening to him as well.
Another person who I know will listen to me is my mom. My mom, probably more than anyone, will listen to me anytime there is anything on my mind. Sometimes I feel bad for always ranting to her, but she always smiles and listens. She is the support I need when I am going through anything and I am so grateful to have her as my mom. My mom is amazing in everything she does for our family and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her and her support. Even though we don't always see eye to eye on everything, we are always able to move on and forgive one another in a short amount of time.
Another person who I know will listen to me is my mom. My mom, probably more than anyone, will listen to me anytime there is anything on my mind. Sometimes I feel bad for always ranting to her, but she always smiles and listens. She is the support I need when I am going through anything and I am so grateful to have her as my mom. My mom is amazing in everything she does for our family and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her and her support. Even though we don't always see eye to eye on everything, we are always able to move on and forgive one another in a short amount of time.
Chapter 30- Choose Your Battles Wisely
Describe a time when you "lost your Shhhhhh" and in reality it wasn't worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn't sweat the small stuff?
I have "lost my shhh" quite a few times, and almost every time I have, I regretted it. I don't regret many events in my life, or decisions, except the ones that cause me to lose or damage relationships with important people in my life. One time, I was just reading in my room while my brother and his friends were over. They decided to continuously come into my room to bother me and "poke my buttons". Instead of taking a deep breath and moving somewhere else, I decided to start yelling and causing a ruckus toward them. I yelled so loud my dad got upset from downstairs and I ended up getting scolded instead of the people who should have been "at fault". After yelling and getting so upset, which put me in a bad mood, I realized I should have not gotten so mad and just calmly avoided the confrontation. After the fact, I was incredibly embarrassed, and my brother's friends judged me for acting insanely out of character. It would have gone much differently if I had just not worried about them and moved to somewhere else or didn't react, since a reaction was what they were looking for by annoying me.
Chapter 31- Become Aware of Your Moods & Don't Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low Ones
Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how is shaped your day. Vise Versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had.
I remember one day when my grandparents were over, I was in a terrible mood. For some reason, I had just had the worst day and I was so irritable. I was bitter with my family because of an argument we had gotten in that morning. The whole first day they were visiting, I felt off, and I created a very rigid and tense atmosphere every time I was present. I felt terrible about it after the mood had passed. I had not only possibly made my grandparents feel uncomfortable, but I wasn't able to enjoy seeing my family because of the "mood" that I was in.
Reversely, I am fortunate to be at a point in my life where I have WAY more good days than bad days. For example, one day, I remember everything had just been going great. It was the day before a 4 day weekend and I was amped up for school. I started the day off with a workout in my garage and had gotten dressed in an outfit I liked with my favorite music playing in the background. At school, I had a busy day, but I was surrounded by my friends whom I care about. That afternoon, still in a great mood, I was able to enjoy track more than ever and laugh with my friends essentially the whole time, even when we were running. I was able to talk to so many more people because I was social and overall just in a better mood. I always want to be that person I was that day because I know how much happier I was and how I loved connecting with so many people.
Reversely, I am fortunate to be at a point in my life where I have WAY more good days than bad days. For example, one day, I remember everything had just been going great. It was the day before a 4 day weekend and I was amped up for school. I started the day off with a workout in my garage and had gotten dressed in an outfit I liked with my favorite music playing in the background. At school, I had a busy day, but I was surrounded by my friends whom I care about. That afternoon, still in a great mood, I was able to enjoy track more than ever and laugh with my friends essentially the whole time, even when we were running. I was able to talk to so many more people because I was social and overall just in a better mood. I always want to be that person I was that day because I know how much happier I was and how I loved connecting with so many people.
Chapter 32- Life Is a Test. It Is Only a Test
"As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with" right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
Initially, I first thought that treating life like a test makes life more stressful. As a person who always strives to be the bets I can be, I find treating life like a constant test is too much energy to really enjoy life. If we simply live and accept our imperfections and actions that might not be perfect, I think that most of us will die much happier rather than knowing we could have perfromed better on a "test". However, in the case of only one specific issue that we are forced to deal with, I still think that we should learn to adapt and cope to the best of our abilities, but it doesn't have to be a "test". Whenever a test is taken, there must be a pass or fail. If we live life constantly passing or constantly failing, either way we will end up putting value on something that should not be graded, and that is how we live and how we learn. I think that personally, even without having situations be treated as a test, i think that based on who I am and how I was raised, I will be able to rise above the situation.
Chapter 33- Praise & Blame Are All the Same
You will not please everyone…how does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
When I first think of the statement, "I will not please everyone", I feel almost disappointed. I always want to please people. However, after a while of thinking, I have come to accept that some people will always find a reason to nto care about what you do, you can simply never please them. Pleasing people so much can be so exhausting. Going out of your way to do something is not always people pleasing, a lot of times, I find myself projecting a false positive energy that I don't always feel. I usually try to please people by being "funny", "happy", or extra encouraging. After a while, this usually leaves me feeling empty and drained by the end of the day, sometimes to the point that I lash out at my parents and family members. I think that accepting our own emotions and aligning ourselevs first can really help aliviate a lot of the pressure that comes with needing to "people please". I thinkt at people tend to focus on the negative because it is so much more convenient. Our world is filled with negative stories about anything. Naturally, humans are creatures of habit, it is so fitting that if we see bad things all the time, and hear about bad things, we can either project the "bad" expirences that happen to us or create distractions for all the bad things we wish to avoid that are happening in the real world. For whatever reason, it is so much easier for people to do the bd thing, instead of the good one. I think that selfishness and the ego has a lot to do with this. Humans are selfish, even as children, selfishness tends to be a large problem. I think that focusing on the negative means getting attention that feeds our selfish egos.
Chapter 34- Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Describe a time when you completed RAK and how did it make you feel?
I remember one day I went to the store with some of my old friends. It was just a normal trip, nothing too special. There was an elderly woman following us out the door. I remember staying to help her with the door and smiling while saying, "Have a good day,". For some reason, this expirence always has stuck with me. The rest of the day, the lady's sweet smile and nature had left me feeling appreciated, but even more, I felt good that I could help someone else have a better day. Helping other people is so rewarding, both for the people helping, but also for the people being helped. Random acts of kindness often keep our days filled with new interactions and expirences that make us happier. According to many doctors, one of the 10 habits that make you happier is proven to be giving back and practicing random acts of kindness.
Chapter 35- Looking Beyond Behavior
In your own words, describe the meaning of Loving-Kindness.
Loving-kindness to me is the act of being kind for loving reasons, and with loving motives. Kindness can come from love, which in my opinion is what loving kindness is. Loving-kindness furthermore, can be the kindness that comes naturally, easily, and is led by love. Love can guide kindness to where it needs to be if that makes sense. In my opinion, I think that kindness is more naturally exchanged between people who love one another or have a loving relationship. If people learned to lead with love rather than hate and greed, the world could become a kinder place. Reflecting on ourselves and internalizing our thoughts can help people develop more loving thoughts which can carry outward and make being kind easier. Loving-kindness can help people become more forgiving and lead to better relationships. Understanding people and giving them the benefit of the doubt can help resolve many situations, however, it can be detrimental. I fully believe in leading with love and trusting people, but I also think there is a fine line between being forgiving and getting taken advantage of. The more we forgive, the more people see they can walk all over us. In my opinion, someone must be actively practicing "loving-kindness," and watching their relationships so that there is still a balance of being forgiven and improving the relationship, rather than being used and manipulated. By leaving behind hate, and making the choice to love first, we can all become more happy, and kind, and make the world a better place.
Chapter 36- See the Innocence
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of "their" story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation?
When I personally forget the drama that arises during situations, I am usually much happier and find myself harboring way less emotion and anger about the situation. When we find ways to focus on ourselves and not what happened or what the other person has to say, we can often come to terms with their action and find a genuine way to forgive, without having to take into consideration everything that they did. As I reflect on this, I have also found that when I choose to show compassion and forgive someone without caring about everything that they did, I also do not have to worry about whether they are lying, being dramatic, or coming up with excuses for genuinely messing up. Recently, this has been a huge part of my life. I have had to recently come to terms with the fact that one of my best friends had been lying to me and misusing my trust more than I should put up with. While we are still friends, I have tried to not read too far into her apologies, and just move on. I have forgiven her so much, which does release some tension and conflict, but I am learning now that having a conversation with her is often more effective than ignoring the situation. By listening to someone else's story, it can be difficult to remember the situation at all. Finally, when we are able to lose the drama, most situations are much more simple than they appear to be. Drama always complicates situations, relationships, and events and it is almost always more beneficial to eliminate drama and let go of all of the sides and stories that come with it.
Chapter 37- Choose Being Kind Over Being Right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look to your ego first before you answer.
Equanimity is the state of being calm and at peace, even during chaotic situations and times. Basically having calmness within oneself even though situations may be crazy surroundings. Having an inner balance and sureness in oneself is very important. Finding a balance enough to be calm and always know who we are during times of craziness is very important, that being said, ego can not be something that we fall back on. For example, instead of being cocky and overly confident, people have to find confidence in themselves enough to be content within and not project it. Being able to be at peace and content within is more important than being overly sure of ourselves. Recently, I have been working on learning this. To be truly successful, often times we must lose our ego enough to find inner peace and reject the idea that everything must be projected outward. If people are truly happy and calm within, the need for outside motivation and validation will be lost.
Chapter 38- Tell Three People (today) How Much You Love Them
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
If I were to pick three people to tell that I love them, I would choose my mom, my dad, and my best friend Alyson. I would first choose my mom because is truly the one person I know I can tell anything to. I trust my mom more than anyone in my life, and I always know I have her to turn to. She is amazing and does so much for our family. She is always the one person that anyone can trust and turn to. Talking to her, she offers advice, she listens, and allows me to truly be myself without judgment. I love my mom more than anything in the world. Secondly, I would choose my dad. My dad is my biggest supporter and I know he is always there for me. My dad is the kindest person I know and he always tries his best to do what is right. He has made so many sacrifices for my brother and I that I can not thank him enough, he is incredibly passionate, kind, generous, and intelligent. I love my dad so much and I appreciate everything he does. Lastly, I would tell my best friend Alyson that I love her. Being friends with her has changed my life so much. Before I was friends with her, I did not know how much life I was missing out on. Alyson has taught me how to have fun, not care what other people think, and how truly be myself. Alyson has helped me become more confident, and balanced, and she has ignited a spark in my life that makes living so much more fun. I can not think of anyone else in my life, other than family, who has truly changed my life in the ways that she has. Alyson is the ray of sunshine in my day, every day and I can not imagine not being friends with her. I trust her with everything, and I can not imagine not having Alyson in my life. Although I do tell my mom, dad, and Alyson that I love them, I think that it is a very good practice to tell people more often how much you love and appreciate them. Sometimes, people's impact on someone is unknown until you express it to them.
Chapter 39- Practice Humility
Describe a time when you saw an individual or group lacking humility. How did that make you feel about that individual/group? No need to share names in this example.
I know one person who especially does not show humility most times. She always brags about her success and everything she has done. She always talks about how much better she has done in everything as compared to my friends and me constantly. Additionally, she makes some of her "problems" seem much worse than they already are for my other friends. She is already going to college, and fully committed to something that she loves and has worked very hard for. However, my friend who is not as fortunate as her, still has to apply to schools and prove herself to major universities. By complaining about the smallest things regarding her "perfect" career and list of accomplishments, it is hurtful and insulting to other people who are still having to work. It seems as though she is disregarding everyone else in lacking humility and understanding. Personally, I have found that I do not enjoy being around this person very much because everything that happens within the conversations we have is solely focused on her and her accomplishments. I feel as though she does not have the same level of understanding or compassion for people that she should. It makes me feel more insecure and insignificant when every time I talk to her because everything she has done always seems to be the only thing there is to talk about.
Chapter 40- When in Doubt About Whose Turn it is to Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take it Out
What is your perspective/opinion of this article? Valid, or a waste of time?
I think that the message presented in this chapter is very valuable. Sometimes, we let ourselves get caught up in the smallest things that we are fortunate enough to even be thinking about. Often times, if we let things like the trash get to be such an issue, that it consumed our every thought, we become very unhappy, sullen, and irritable. I believe that we should think more about the issues we have, and figure out which ones really matter, and which ones we come up with to fill our minds with drama and pettiness. Personally, I have tried my very best to not let things like this bother me anymore. I used to be so filled with anger and rage over the smallest things that I became unhappy, in fact, I almost let that completely happen again this past summer. Once I found that I am fortunate enough to be able to have these small worries, I become more grateful and effective in letting the smaller inconveniences of my day go completely because it doesn't really matter all that much as it does compared to bigger issues. Taking out the trash, while it may be inconvenient sometimes, can be helpful to many, and only take a few minutes of our day, so we should never let something that small ruin our mood, day, or anymore than one second.
Chapter 41- Avoid Weatherproofing
Do you weatherproof? Explain.
I think that at times, I weatherproof. And if I am being even more honest, I think that I weatherproof way too much. I find that often, people notice the smallest things about other people because it is fun, or easy to acknowledge the annoying things about each other. The term, "weatherproofing," reminds me of the term many people use today, "the ick". The ick is a term that describes something that other people do that immediately raises a red flag or makes someone completely unattractive or annoying. By establishing these "icks," people are able to immediately cast someone off without taking into account any other part of their personality. I think that these have become so popular because people, especially teens, have become too quick to judge. Now, I will admit, I find myself things to do this too as well, but I do not think it is healthy at all. Back to weatherproofing, I think that I weatherproof sometimes because I am scared of the reality of it all. I try to find things that are wrong and everything that I don't like about a situation before it becomes something that I will mess up or damage myself. I think that weatherproofing, especially with people comes from a place of insecurity or of what might happen. However, I think that sometimes I find things to weatherproof because I read too far into the thing that is messed up and find that that one issue is much bigger than it is really. Overall, weatherproofing is a trait that is incredibly toxic, and one of the most unhealthy things we can do, in my opinion. I do not agree with the idea of finding things wrong, or things to fix when there is actually nothing. Doing this to things or people can completely ruin relationships, people, and the healthy mindset that we all wish to have.
Chapter 42- Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love
Who do you choose to send love to in this moment?
Right now, I am choosing to send love to my friend Alyson. She is sick right now and she recently went through the loss of a family member. I have been fortunate enough to not quite understand what this feels like, but I will always be there to support her through everything she goes through. The grief of this situation and not feeling great has to be very difficult and I am hoping that my energy going to her can help to improve her life and well being. She has not been feeling well since last Friday, so I can see why she is upset about being sick and not being able to play soccer. She is trying her very best and I am so proud of her. This is her first year taking AP classes, and she is doing very well. She puts her all into everything and I am so happy to be her best friend. I hope that she feels better soon!
Chapter 43- Become an Anthropologist
Reflect on the following: "judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be."
I agree with this quote entirely. I think that when we judge others unnecessarily or harshly, it comes from a place of insecurity or anger that needs to be addressed before it becomes part of our everyday lives. I have learned that the more I speak with judgement and anger, the less intentional I become with my words and actions and I become less productive, less confident, and less happy. Instead of finding joy in my own life, I usually end up being absorbed in this cycle of anger and being upset about other people and what they seem to be doing, when I find myself judging people. Judgement becomes a cycle that is difficult to breakout of and eventually ends up festering and spreading to our peers, friends, family members, and overall mental health. I have an example, one afternoon, I was having a great day, then I spoke to one of my friends and it seemed like everything he had to say was negative about himself, his friends, or the array of situations he had put himself into. I found myself being so frustrated with the negativity and lack of purpose behind the conversation that I started to become angry with him and his lack of effort put into everything. Even though the conversation was just about judgement, which is easy to be discussed, it seems like the negativity and anger that comes with judgement stays for much longer than the actual judging. Whether we are judging ourselves or other people, it is important to set intentions and be purposeful with our words. Whether we believe it or not, our words have the power to change reality and harsh words do not have a positive impact on our futures or the lives of others. All they do is strip the happiness from our lives and leave us feeling disappointed and worse off than we had not every judged so harshly to begin with.
Chapter 44- Understand Separate Realities
Why is it important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world?
It is important to see differences amongst each other in our small groups because being able to recognize that we are different and wanting different things often can help other people understand others actions and habits better. For example, Devin is one of my best friends and we are incredibly similar, yet we still have our differences. But sometimes, he says things that I do not agree with. Instead of completely disregarding what he is saying, over the course of our friendship, I have learned to remember who he is and what he believes in or does as habits to better understand where his words come from. It is easier to get along with people and understand them if we recognizes differences and similarities. I think that by first recognizing and understanding the differences between people, we can make a more conscious effort to get along and resolve problems that may arise due to differing opinions. The same idea goes for recognizing differences in cultures around the world. When we may not have to agree with everyone all of the time, by simply recognizing and accepting the fact that people will be different, the world can become a more peaceful and happy place. Rather than forcing everyone to be one certain way, allowing people to express themselves and have their own beliefs while still respecting themselves is very valuable.
I believe everyone should be celebrated and recognized as being different, not shamed and embarrassed for not being the same as the person next to them. We must be accepting and loving to all people whom we meet, not judgmental and let our differences cause such issues within our relationships and society. Truly, humans are meant to love one another and diversity is what makes the world such an amazing place. The multitude of races, genders, languages, religions, and styles is what truly makes the world beautiful, not ethnocentric ideas that revolve around creating sameness and hatred between individuals.
I believe everyone should be celebrated and recognized as being different, not shamed and embarrassed for not being the same as the person next to them. We must be accepting and loving to all people whom we meet, not judgmental and let our differences cause such issues within our relationships and society. Truly, humans are meant to love one another and diversity is what makes the world such an amazing place. The multitude of races, genders, languages, religions, and styles is what truly makes the world beautiful, not ethnocentric ideas that revolve around creating sameness and hatred between individuals.
Chapter 45- Develop Your Own Helping Rituals
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness toward others?
I can help the spread of kindness toward others in many different ways. Random acts of kindness can be so simple, from giving a simple compliment to writing a letter to a loved one, random acts of kindness are usually priceless and require little effort. I can help by encouraging people to be more positive or encouraging them to practice kindness. I can also help by giving more compliments throughout the day and making sure more people feel appreciated by me. Being kind is infectious and can spread, by me being kind, I can most likely help other people be kinder to themselves and others.
Chapter 46- Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire or Appreciate about Them
Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I chose to text my brother that I admire his fun personality and his passion for the things that he loves. I chose to text him because I think that I need to do a better job talking to him. I spend a good amount of time with him, but I always think that I can spend more time with my brother. It made me feel good that I was telling my brother something that he might have needed to hear. It made me feel better to know that I could have made someones day better. I am glad I was able to make a positive difference in someone I care about’s life.
Chapter 47- Argue for Your Limitations, and They're Yours
Discuss a time when you had self-doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
I have set limitations for myself a lot of the time. Sometimes I find myself thinking, “I could never be in a relationship with anyone,” or “I never was good at this,”. I could change this behavior by rethinking about my life and changing my perspective about certain situations. By looking through a different lens at life, I could open more opportunities for myself and create new experiences for myself. For example, “I was never good at this,” could turn into “I might have not been the best at this in the past, but I can always get better,”. I think that by changing my perspective on these issues, I can make better memories and experiences for my life. My seventh grade teacher always emphasized this by teaching her students to have a "growth mindset," rather than a "fixed mindset." Learning the difference can help people become much more successful and happy with their personal lives!
Chapter 49- Resist the Urge to Criticize
What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly, about another person, and lies to feed their ego? Look inward... are you guilty?
Those who criticize and judge have insecurities that reflect more on them than the ones they are criticizing. I think that this judgment is shed outward because some individuals feel like they need to tell people their unsolicited opinion. In my opinion, someone who is talking poorly about someone else really feel poorly about themselves, so they reflect it out to other people to draw everybody else's eyes toward them. In my experience, some of my friends do this to me often. One person in particular used to always nag and criticize me for everything. Whether it be the clothes I was wearing or the way I did my hair or my answers on the homework, they would have something negative to say about how I was simply existing. After a while, I felt like their opinion started to matter more than what I thought. I would think more about what they would say when choosing clothes to wear instead of what I would want to wear, which is when I realized it had gone too far and I finally talked to them about it. When we talked, I realized that she wasn't trying to manipulate me or make me feel badly, she just didn't want me to be "embarrassed". It took me up until that moment to realize that maybe yes, her behavior wasn't the nicest, but also it was about a difference in perspective. She thought she was helping me whereas I thought that she was always trying to make herself look better. While both of these can be true, it took this tough conversation to become more forgiving and understanding about this sort of thing. Personally, I try not to criticize people for superficial things, occasionally, of course I do. I never feel good about it though, and I never tell them directly, of course. We know everybody is guilty of this, but it becomes a problem when it is done intentionally to damage someone's feelings or bring them down.
Chapter 50- Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them
Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
I think I can be a stubborn person, to a moderate extent. I also don't think this is a bad thing. I can be stubborn about things that matter, like my personal beliefs, standing up for other people, and other decisions that I believe are important enough to be stubborn. Being able to stay true to yourself is something that is of utmost importance so you don't get walked on or manipulated by people. On the other hand, I think that being able to compromise and find common ground is just as important as being able to to be stubborn and stand up for what is right. You should not be so stubborn that you are unpleasant or think so close mindedly that you are impossible and unchanging. As for this chapter's content, I do not think that stubbornness should be defined as following outdated, unhelpful stereotypes. The examples in this chapter about what this man was mad about were not being stubborn, that man was holding onto a fixed mindset that doesn't have anything to do with being a "stubborn person". I think that being unwilling to see other perspectives makes you ignorant, not strong and level headed, that's just me though. What really made me work up about this chapter though is that this man was so angry with his wife when he was more of a problem than she was. I think that this was really personal for me because I see my dad being frustrated with my mom too after she goes grocery shopping. They share bank accounts, so there is always someone watching the money in accounts. Sometimes, my dad will get upset when we spend a bit more, but he will end up eating the groceries or using the supplies just as much as anybody. This is not a big deal or anything, but it is something I have observed in my own house. My dad never acts out or gets upset out loud with any of us, but I can observe his body language sometimes and it reminds me of what this man is saying in the chapter. My issue with this guy though is that he is holding onto these opinions and building up anger for no reason. He is refusing to change his mind about someone who he loves just so he can say that he is stubborn. I get that it is not this deep, but I also recognize that holding onto feelings isn't healthy, and nobody should be holding back their feelings to the point of hatred, coming from experience too. I hope this man gets better at expressing himself and communicating his feelings in the future.
Chapter 51- Just for Fun, Agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (Then Watch It Go Away)
Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author's idea to accept the criticism?
I spoke about this in class today but I really took it to heart and I will write about it again. In later middle school, I became very insecure and was told to change my appearance by my friends at school. I eventually listened to them about a year later and I began to change the way I looked. In the moment, I thought my friends were all out for me and wanted me to change so I could "be more like them". I hated the idea of changing my appearance just because someone told me to. However, in the long run, I am very grateful I listened and set aside my pride. While yes, I was insecure, I didn't realize it was because I stayed the same as my friends grew/glowed up. While back then I was offended and hurt, today I am grateful my friends were trying to look out for me. I think part of this comes down to not playing the victim, which I did for a little bit. I felt sorry for myself that my friends would be so mean. In reality, I have come to realize we were just kids and they probably didn't know that their delivery was mean or upsetting, and I did not know they were only trying to help me improve myself. I agree with Carlson's perspective that we should accept criticism. When we do this, we either change something or realize where it was coming from and move on. Being able to differentiate what criticism to take to heart and what to toss out is an important skill that I think the author was trying to get across.
Chapter 52- Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions
Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn't agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversation go?
A conversation that instantly comes to mind took place between my friend and myself about drugs. My friend is very artsy and interested in the science of mushrooms and other psychedelic drugs. In fact, she is currently studying microscopic bacteria and fungi at UC Santa Barbara right now. Anyway, we were just hanging out and the topic of drugs came up. I'm not saying she was a drug addict or anything, but she does dabble and know quite a bit about the topic. She is also very responsible when she does anything and is always careful or with other people. Anyway, during this conversation, I admitted that I was pretty ignorant in regards to drugs and that I had a "zero tolerance" mindset when it comes to everything related to drugs. It started with being open and admitting my biases for us to have a great, open conversation. We talked about our opinions and I really learned a lot about different drugs and psychedelics. I began to defrost my mindset and I came to a different understanding with her about why people do what they do. I started to learn about the intricate science behind different plants. This conversation lasted nearly 2 hours and taught me so much, while allowing me to also explain my thinking. From this conversation, we both were bonded and learned a lot about each other's lives and why we are the way we are. This conversation also helped me begin to research different topics that I would have been totally closed off to. I ended up watching different documentaries to help me better understand people and things I disagree with. By taking a step back and allowing my mind to change or evolve, I strengthened relationships and built a better understanding of the world and people around me. I am very happy I did this and took this step toward growth rather than being so set in my way to cast out any differing opinion that came in my direction.